Getting ready for cochlear implant surgery is a big step! You’ve already been through the process of trying out hearing aids, lots of testing and maybe even started speech therapy. And now you’re finally close to surgery day! While getting the surgery can be an exciting step, it can also be a scary thing to think about. Your child undoubtedly has many questions about what the surgery day will be like. Today on the blog we are going to talk about how to have a conversation with your child about cochlear implant surgery in a way that empowers them with knowledge and also validates their feelings about suergery day.

When my husband and I went through cochlear implant surgery with our boys, they were both only 11 months old. Unfortunately there was no way to explain to a baby what cochlear implant surgery was going to be like. As a mom I found it to be really difficult emotionally to not be able to explain to my deaf babies why they were in pain and what was going on in that day. To the parents who have babies going through the surgery- I understand exactly how you are feeling because I was you just a few years ago!

Since my boys’ surgery, I have talked to many parents of older kids who receive cochlear implants for the first time. The number one question that most parents ask is how to explain cochlear implant surgery to their child. While this wasn’t my personal experience with our own children, I have gleaned a lot of insight and understanding from talking with parents who have “been there” with older kids. This blog post is the compilation of their answers.

VALIDATE THEIR FEELINGS AND REASSURE THEM

Going under surgery can be scary, even for adults! The first thing that is helpful is to validate that your child’s feelings about the surgery are real. However, also couple this with reassuring your child that even though the surgery day feels scary, they are safe with the doctors.

Here is a conversation script: 

“I know that _____ feels scary right now, but you are safe with the doctors and we will be there with you too.”

EDUCATE THEM ABOUT THE PROCESS

Kids feel reassured when they know what will happen in a day. According to the Center on Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning, “schedules and routines influence children’s emotional, cognitive and social development”. When kids don’t know the schedule, or are unsure about how the day will go, their anxiety can increase. Ease your child’s fears by explaining to them how the day will go, in an age- appropriate way. 

Tell them what will happen first, second and third. Let them know how you will be getting to the hospital, and what will happen when you get to the hospital. Walking through their day step-by-step will demystify the process.

Here is a conversation script: 

“You’re going to walk into the hospital. The nurse is going to ask you questions. Then the nurse will give you a special hospital gown to change into. Next, the nurse might give you a medicine that will make you feel sleepy, like you want to take a nap. You are safe to take a nice nap! While you are napping the surgeon will put the cochlear implant in your ears. When you wake up from a nap the nurse will be there to help you, and I will come in to help you too.”

PREPARE THEM FOR POST-SURGERY

Many kids are nervous about how they will feel when they wake up from surgery. It is a great idea to prepare them for what to expect when they wake up from surgery, and what to expect in the days to follow the surgery.

Prepare your child that they will wake up in a hospital bed with a nurse beside of them. Also prepare your child that they might feel some pain, and to let you know if anything hurts. 

Talk to your child about the fact that they might not hear in the days after surgery., until the cochlear implants are activated. Reassure them that you will still be able to communicate.  Sometimes surgeons are able to save residual hearing, but in most cases this is not possible. For more information about residual hearing after cochlear implant surgery, the Mayo Clinic is a great resource.

Quick tip: If your child is of reading and writing age, then you can come up with a system of writing back and forth on a notepad for communication. This would also be a great time before the surgery for all of you to learn a few, key ASL signs to communicate in the short-term.

GET THEM EXCITED

Help your child get excited for this new stage of life! Some fun things that you can do before the surgery day is:

1. Shop for stickers to decorate their cochlear implants. Many shops on Etsy create fun stickers for cochlear implants. This is my favorite shop for cochlear implant skins: DEAFinitely Bold
2. Shop for fun headbands! Depending on the age of your child, it might be a good idea to get just a few headbands that they can wear while they are getting used to wearing their cochlears. Headbands are also essential when playing sports or doing activities. Once again, Etsy shops have a variety of fun headbands that hold cochlear implants for both girls and boys. My favorite etsy shop for headbands, and what has worked with our own boys is hearinghenry. Many others really like Geniebands. Also Cochhat has some unique hats that specifically fit cochlear implants.
3. Get their favorite treat for post-surgery. Popsicles or ice cream could be a great way to enjoy a treat! Your child may be a little sore when chewing, so any ice cream, milkshakes or smoothies of choice for the first day, plus warm, nourishing soups would be a great idea for first meals after surgery.
4. Turn the captions on their favorite TV show. If your child doesn’t have residual hearing after surgery, and can read, turn the captions on their favorite TV show or cartoons and let them be couch potatoes for a couple of days!

HELP THEM PROCESS THEIR FEELINGS

A surgery is a big thing for little ones to process, and your child is likely to have big feelings about the day (and you are too!). 

I created a free coloring sheet to help your child process their hearing diagnosis and their feelings about the surgery day. The coloring activity will open up an opportunity for your child to share their heart with you while doing a fun activity together. 

Don’t forget to download your free surgery packing check list!

I hope that this post has given you some ideas about how to help your child process their emotions around surgery day, and educate them about what surgery day is going to be like!

What was your child’s cochlear implant surgery day like? Help out fellow parents and share with us in the comments!

Do you wonder what to pack for cochelar implant surgery day? Read my blog post for the ultimate surgery day packing list.

Need help processing your child’s hearing loss diagnosis? Read my blog post about 10 ways to be encouraged when you are disappointed by a hearing loss diagnosis.